No, I Can’t ‘Fix’ Your Kids—But Here’s What I Can Do
As a therapist, I’ve had many parents come to me hoping that I can ‘fix’ their child. I completely understand where that desire comes from—watching your child struggle is heartbreaking, and it’s natural to want a solution. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t about ‘fixing’ kids because kids aren’t broken. What I can do is equip them with skills, strategies, and support to help them navigate their world more effectively.
Therapy Isn’t a Magic Wand—It’s a Toolbox
Therapy isn’t a one-time intervention that instantly changes behavior. It’s a process that involves learning, practice, and reinforcement. I work with children to help them build emotional regulation skills, develop coping strategies, and gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors. I also provide a space where they can feel heard and validated, which can be a powerful part of the healing process.
But here’s the key: the strategies I introduce in therapy need to be reinforced outside of our sessions. The most significant influences on a child’s well-being are their home and school environments. Without consistency and support in those spaces, progress in therapy can be slow or even ineffective.
The Role of the Home Environment
Children thrive in environments where they feel safe, supported, and understood. Parents and caregivers play a critical role in their emotional and mental health. Here’s what can make a huge difference:
Consistency – Children need predictable routines and clear expectations. This provides them with a sense of security and stability.
Emotional Attunement – Being present and responsive to your child’s emotions helps them feel validated and safe.
Healthy Communication – Encouraging open, judgment-free conversations about feelings can help kids express themselves more effectively.
Modeling Coping Skills – Children learn by watching. Demonstrating healthy ways to manage stress and emotions teaches them valuable skills.
The Role of the School System
For many children, school is where they spend the majority of their day. How their needs are met in this environment is crucial. Schools that have effective support systems in place can make a world of difference. This might include:
Teachers trained in emotional regulation strategies to help guide children through difficult moments.
School counselors or social workers who provide additional support.
A structured approach to behavioral challenges that focuses on skill-building rather than punishment.
Collaboration between educators and parents to ensure consistency across home and school.
How Parents and Therapists Can Work Together
Therapy works best when parents are engaged in the process. Here’s how we can create the most supportive environment for your child together:
Be open to learning – Parenting is tough, and no one has all the answers. Being open to new strategies and perspectives can make a big difference.
Practice skills at home – When children learn coping strategies in therapy, they need opportunities to use them in real life. Reinforcing these skills at home helps solidify them.
Be patient – Growth takes time. Progress might be slow, but small changes add up.
Communicate with me – Your insights as a parent are invaluable. Sharing what works, what doesn’t, and any concerns you have allows us to adjust our approach as needed.
The Big Picture
Therapy is an important tool, but it’s just one piece of the puzzle. The real, lasting change happens in a child’s everyday environment. If we want to support kids in the best way possible, we need to work together—parents, caregivers, educators, and therapists—to create a system that fosters emotional well-being and resilience.
So, no, I can’t ‘fix’ your child. But I can be a support to them and to you. I can help them build the skills they need to thrive, and I can work with you to create an environment where those skills can truly take root. And that, in the long run, is far more powerful than any quick fix could ever be.