The Power of Parenting: You Are the Key to Your Child’s Growth
As a therapist, I work with many parents who feel helpless watching their child struggle with anxiety, depression, self-harm, or other mental health concerns. It’s an incredibly painful experience—to want to take away your child’s suffering but not know how. I see you. I hear you. And I want you to know this: you are not powerless. In fact, you hold more power than you may realize.
Your Child Is Watching You—Always
From the moment they are born, children learn by observing the world around them. And who do they watch more than anyone else? You. Whether you realize it or not, your child is constantly picking up on how you respond to stress, how you regulate your emotions, how you handle conflict, and how you care for yourself and others.
This is why modeling matters. If you want your child to learn healthy coping mechanisms, they need to see you practicing them. If you want them to develop emotional resilience, they need to watch you navigate challenges with grace and patience. If you want them to show empathy, kindness, and understanding, they need to see those qualities in you first.
The Science: How Your Relationship Shapes Their Brain
Research in developmental psychology and neuroscience shows that the relationship a child has with their primary caregivers literally shapes their nervous system and brain function.
The way we respond to our children—especially in times of distress—impacts the development of their emotional regulation skills.
Secure, responsive caregiving helps build stronger neural connections in the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for impulse control, emotional regulation, and decision-making.
Consistent, nurturing relationships help lower stress hormone levels and build resilience to future mental health challenges.
This means that every hug, every moment of patience, every act of listening, and every expression of understanding matters. Your child’s brain is learning from the way you interact with them, and those interactions shape their ability to regulate emotions, manage stress, and build healthy relationships for years to come.
Your Role: The Safe Space, The Co-Regulator, The Anchor
When a child is struggling with their mental health, it can feel overwhelming as a parent. You might not be able to erase their pain, but you can be their safe space, their safety net, their supervision, their sounding board, and their co-regulator.
Co-regulation is the process by which we help children learn to regulate their emotions by providing them with calm, steady, and supportive interactions. (You can read more about co-regulation in my previous blog posts!) When a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or dysregulated, they look to their caregiver for cues on how to respond. When we respond with:
Kindness – We teach them that they are worthy of love and support.
Empathy – We show them that their feelings are valid and that they are not alone.
Effort – We demonstrate that relationships require patience and understanding.
Consistency – We create a predictable, safe environment where they can develop trust.
All of this helps a child feel secure, which is one of the most protective factors against long-term mental health challenges.
Seeking Support Is Okay—And Encouraged
Parenting is hard, and no one is meant to do it alone. It’s okay to seek support—whether that’s through parenting groups, individual therapy sessions, or working alongside your child’s therapist to identify roadblocks and strategies that can help. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. I offer parenting work to help navigate these challenges, and I’d love to support you in creating a strong, healthy foundation for your child’s well-being.
You Are More Powerful Than You Think
I know it’s hard. I know you might feel like nothing you’re doing is enough. But you matter more than you realize. You don’t have to be a perfect parent—there’s no such thing. But by showing up with patience, love, and the willingness to learn, you are making a profound difference in your child’s life.
So when you feel powerless, remember: you are the single most important factor in your child’s mental well-being. Your love, your presence, and your commitment to modeling emotional health can shape their future in ways that no therapy session ever could.
And if you ever need support along the way, I’m here. 💛