Navigating the Transition Back to Routine After the Holidays: A Guide for Pre-Teens, Teens, and Their Families
The holiday season is a whirlwind of excitement, joy, and often, a much-needed break from the usual grind of school, extracurriculars, and other commitments. But as January rolls in, the shift back to daily routines can feel overwhelming for both pre-teens, teens, and their families. It’s important to normalize the challenges of this transition, understand why it might be tough, and explore ways to ease back into a routine with compassion and intentionality.
Why the Transition Can Be Difficult
For many pre-teens and teens, the holidays are marked by disrupted schedules, later bedtimes, and unstructured days. While this change can be fun and relaxing, it’s also a significant deviation from their regular routines. When it’s time to return to school, homework, and structured activities, it’s not uncommon for this adjustment to trigger an increase in dysregulation and challenging behaviors.
From a mental health perspective, it makes sense why this happens:
Emotional Regulation: The shift in routine can create a sense of instability, making it harder to regulate emotions.
Attachment Needs: The increased family time during the holidays can make separating for school again feel more difficult.
Cognitive Shifts: Executive functioning skills like planning and organization may feel rusty after a prolonged break.
Establishing New Routines
The good news? With some intentionality, it’s possible to re-establish a routine that feels manageable and supportive. Here are some suggestions to get started:
Start Small:
Reintroduce bedtime and wake-up routines gradually over a few days instead of expecting an abrupt shift.
Use timers or visual schedules to help with morning and evening routines.
Set Clear Goals:
Encourage pre-teens and teens to write down one or two goals for the week—such as completing homework or attending a specific activity—to provide focus.
Balance Structure with Flexibility:
Create a predictable schedule but leave room for downtime and relaxation to avoid overwhelm.
Incorporate Self-Care:
Teach the importance of self-care practices, such as deep breathing, journaling, or taking short breaks during the day.
Practicing Self-Compassion
No transition is perfect, and it’s essential to model and teach self-compassion. Here’s how:
Normalize Mistakes: Remind your teen (and yourself) that it’s okay to have off days. Adjustments take time.
Reframe Setbacks: Instead of seeing a missed assignment or forgotten chore as a failure, frame it as an opportunity to practice problem-solving.
Focus on Progress: Celebrate small wins, like completing one task or showing up to school even when it feels hard.
Addressing Dysregulation and Difficult Behaviors
Increased irritability, defiance, or withdrawal are common responses during transitions. Approach these behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment, and remind yourself that all behavior is a sign of communication in children - your kids are trying to tell you something but they don’t have the words. Try to:
Validate Feelings: Acknowledge the underlying emotions driving the behavior (“I see you’re feeling frustrated about getting back to school.”).
Problem-Solve Together: Collaborate on solutions, such as creating a study space or planning breaks during homework.
Be Curious: Is there something about going back to school that feels uncomfortable for your child, and what might that be? If you put on your detective glasses and look for the reason underneath the behavior, you might be surprised at what you’ll find.
When Therapy Can Help
If the transition feels particularly challenging, therapy can provide a supportive space to:
Explore underlying concerns like anxiety, depression, or struggles with executive functioning.
Learn new coping strategies and skills to manage stress and emotions.
Foster healthy communication and problem-solving within the family.
Remember, seeking support isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a proactive step towards creating balance and well-being.
If you are feeling like you need extra support, please feel free to book a consultation call at Copper Park Wellness fo your child or teen, and we can work to teach and practice skills to help them thrive, whether its reframing negative thoughts, using mindfulness or distress tolerance skills, or working to help you and your child in understanding their perspective and helping them reflect on their feelings.
Final Thoughts
January transitions can be tough, but they’re also an opportunity to model resilience, self-compassion, and adaptability. By taking small steps, practicing patience, and seeking help when needed, families can navigate this period with greater ease and connection. And for pre-teens and teens especially, these moments of challenge can become valuable learning experiences that shape their ability to handle future transitions with confidence.